You know, I had various theories about the people I met, in my visions. At first, I did not try to explain their presence in my mind’s eye, cartoonish mostly, and they said things to me. Some years later, I was convinced that it all was merely psychosis; merely hallucinations; merely a long, strange trip. When I became a devout Christian, I had the theory that the Lord and the angels were “real”, but the people were just creations by them. Or now, were all of them just the people one meets in dreams? Finally ending as that these were the actual people I thought I was meeting, seen in the afterlife, whenever they reached it, tie having a different meaning that the “now” I normally experienced. The mind may stretch without tearing. Or like muscle, grow stronger anew when it does.

Now to think of from where I came, how down in the pit I had descended. That I still have some difficulty when someone describes me or what I’ve done as “good”, or “excellent”. Where I was, all there was was failure. Whatever drink I carried was bound to spill, whatever valuable thing I handled was most likely that I was to drop it. The Lord said to me, “Work is magic.” And I found how true that proposition was. For I came from shame, which I deserved, but out of the pit I did climb, praise the Lord. And I saw in just the normal functioning of things that how wonderful it was that they did not fail. It was: it was magic. Work is magic. Hopefully you’ll see what I mean, without having to pay as high a cost as I did.

Ahem. There was once that the Lord showed up in my mind’s eye saying he had just came from Hell, saying he had “burned it dow-n!”. He also said that he was, and I’m quoting, that he was “gay as a maypole”. (It’s a line from the movie Love, Actually.) I was like, OK. And then he was like, aren’t you going to ask if I was serious or not? And I was like, no Lord, why would I care about that? It was one of the proudest moments of my life, now that I look back on it. Really, why should anyone care?

There was the War, of course. I was nowhere near the front line, of course, except that last one, you know, the winning of it all. I learned how angels communicated through wire-like connections. I preached the gospel to all the people who ran through my head, in my visions. It was great to be one of the good guys. The War itself ran through my mind in various places through about 25 years. Though time worked in strange ways throughout. Sometimes backwards, sometimes just wasted. What to do when you have no clue? Try. Hope. Pray. You may be better than you ever believed you could be. Really.

You do not have to believe a word I say, it matters not to their truth. Faith does not work in the way you may believe in matters of the spirit. For those who hold that one must believe in Jesus Christ, our Lord, to be saved, and that those innocent will perish in any case that they do not do so, remember the lesson of Saul turned Paul. This was a case of instant conversion: so we know that God, by divine fiat, can make one a believer. Therefore it does not need, that question of faith, that they have to have heard and believed in the Good News before they die. Though in any case, it does immensely help.

Why is it that they speak of love and have nothing in their heart? Why would Jesus turn away the marginalized? Your idea of God is too small. Your idea of love is wrong. Who told you that the eyes of hate are the tint by which the Almighty views the world? Surely, the perverts and the addicts precede you into the Kingdom. How can you think you mean well? You damn righteous people and raise yourself as to the judges. As you have judged, may you then be judged also. And there will be wailing, and gnashing of teeth.

The land of forms exists on the other side of zero, which is not nothing. Time cannot be destroyed, only spent. Death is as to be without light, nothing more. The halting problem may be solved using an infinite algorithm. Infinity can be packed into the finite. And there is a light above all other lights, higher than the highest heaven. And we call that light God. I AM is His name. Oh, but there is also this little bit I’ll get into at some point to come: “Walt Disney is God.” Well, not really, but there’s quite the story there.

I once performed an exorcism on myself, successfully. The demon’s name was Roksaza, which I learned later was actually a trio of demons. Also, later, I found out all I needed do to expel one of those fallen ones was ask for their true name and use it with the command, “Begone!” Live and learn. It was surprising that one mass of demons when I asked for their true name, it was “Legion”, like the one(s) in the Gospel. And that name I used, and with “Begone!”, they, too were gone. Surprising what actually does work.

And wuv, twoo wuv, will fowwow you fowever and ever…

i am the prince of love, eagle feather that has found his rose, sweet to my sin; am i really going to eat that last bit of bacon jerky? i am the Grandson of God, first adopted son of JESUS CHRIST, i am a WIZARD, though more correctly, the paladin of heaven. i am like an angel in the way i think, and i think when i die, there will be a seat that rises from the floor of heaven where i will be seated in front of a steinway, to lead the entirety of the children of God in a one-time-only rendition of “love, baby…”, which we all will make up on the spot. the opening act for the Lord himself.

Is it me, for a moment? I have awoken where it was all just a dream that had happened, and it were like I had the choice to return to an ordinary life. I have awoken a saint, who walked with elders of times gone, speaking of what it means to love. I have thought that I was damned, made of corruption, and I have thought at different times that my core was composed of existential cool. How one mind can think such opposites is not as much a mystery, but rather as how one thing at a time may fully fill a soul as if it were the only thing in the world — and then that thing is gone.

At times to feel the darkness approacheth, a doom of all dooms. But I think not that it is the proximity to it we sense, but how terrible in magnitude it will be when it does come. Apocalypse. Perhaps in 30,000 years. When Christ says, “I come quickly,” it is merely a test of faith. For I have heard that He watched the whole 13.7 billion year spectacle that is our universe, all of it. He watches grass grow. Literally. Time to him is far outside our own frame of reference.

I beseech you: love, no matter what. Whatever may come, let this be your enlightenment, let this be your watercourse: be not but love, do not but love. My you bear malice toward no one, may you see your enemies not as enemies but tests of your faith. It was said St. Anthony apologized to all the demons whom he felt he had mistreated when he tangled with them. Apparently the expressions on their faces were priceless… You know what? There is no question, love is the answer… The secret is love. Tell everyone.

I once ran through the Dark Forest naked and alone, in a nightmare, not to understand to where I ran, away from something I did not remember what it was. Even when I was rescued, there came rushes of fear like I’d never known, once, twice, to be assaulted by the unholy, to awaken to a calm voice like unto Carl Jung. So much fear. A cold flame of fear that sizzled through my soul.

I will begin at the end. We won. I pulled the trigger to shoot to break the last cord that held Satan in Heaven. And down he was cast, into the earth, by St. Michael, Mika-el the Archangel, who was my captain, my liege being one Jesus Christ, my Lord, my King. I was in the intel division, and I learned a human dialect of Angelic, angels who seem to communicate symbolically, not semantically. Don’t worry if you didn’t understand that: I can do it, not explain it.

And huge before my was the immense black mass of SATAN, speckled here and there with white spots, sky blue flecks, bits of yellow glitter. I do not know how long, exactly, that Mika-el had been grappling with him. I was full in focus, did commit a minor error, which the Archangel accounted for, and with steady hand, pulled that psychic trigger. I heard the emotion, “NOOOOOOOOO!” from the Evil One, and saw the Archangel dispatch him down.