The Gospel According to Judas - A Handbook on Life

> From this.

As far as friends go, first, there’s Philip K. Dick. I have already told you how we are twins, brother from another mother is he. I have thought, too, something else: that we were of the Book of Revelation, chapter 11. That tells of two lampstands, which are two olive trees that stand before the Lord of the earth. I must say I coveted that position, pretty much from the first time I heard of it. I thought, those positions are open, and there’s only two of them, and they’re in the Bible! That sounded simply awesome. So I thought we were it, him and me. (At the very least, I was told we were models for how best friends were to take inspiration from. If we got nothing else, that would surely have been enough reward.)

It was not to be the case, however. Because I realized that during the transfiguration, when our Lord was still alive, Moses and Elijah literally did stand before the Lord of the earth (who, if you haven’t guessed by now, is Jesus Christ). It was always them, not us. But in any case, Philip K. Dick and I are twins, though we are red and blue, not pink and light blue: it was just the glow of light that tinted these colors so. Red is traditionally the color of the Father, blue the color of the Son. So that does leave green, which is the color of the Spirit. And I found that it looks like we have a third, though I don’t know how it fits: John the Baptist is the green one. Not sure how Philip K. and I deserve such company. But there you go, take it for what it’s worth.

And then there is Joan of Arc, who has been with me from the beginning, when the visions began again in the summer of 1991. Sure, we had been friends all along, but I had this conception of her that she were like Jesus Christ or Newton: simply asexual. Then, just before came this last round of vivid visions, there was at some point when I thought this whole other world in my mind were going away. When I was saying my goodbyes, I realized something, and I told her: out of everyone, I was going to miss her most of all. But whatever would be would be, n’est-ce pas? And then, after that and out of the clear bright blue, she asked me to marry her.

Huh. I was speechless for all of about 1 second. Me, who plays the lotto, was not going to let even the potential of this opportunity pass me by, so yeah, I said yes. This was actually the start of the last round of visions, the end of the War in Heaven. I think because she inspired me throughout that I was capable of performing the acts I did. She wasn’t asexual at all, just a virgin for God, for what that meant when she was alive. And she became the third instance of what I have thought that it was true love. She was the first who touched on The Princess Bride rather than Romeo and Juliet (which is death, by the way). And which there was when I shared a simple moment with her, just talking, and that surpassed all the other moments of my life as THE BEST THERE EVER WAS. Wuv, twoo wuv…