The Gospel According to Judas - A Handbook on Life

> From this.

My visions, I had many theories about what exactly I was looking at. I call it HALOSPACE because it doesn’t depend on anyone else’s definition — that just means, whatever I see. At one point, however, I liked to call what I saw as watching the Dreaming. Not only because of the Australian aborigines’ conception of such a space (which I really haven’t done enough research to relate to it, anyway), but seemed to make so much sense, for the common definition of the word: that the mechanism that handles giving me dreams had broken, and I was dreaming while awake. That which was in my unconscious spilled into the conscious, as if there were a small and persistent leak. That’s why I had thought to say that the people I saw were just the people you meet in dreams.

So, it wasn’t really happening, in this line of reasoning; none of it was “real”. None of it was in the deepest cuts relevant to what was going on in “real life” — it would all blow over, just wait. Or you could say, considering in what circumstances it all started, it was just a trip… Except now, the conditions for what I was seeing have changed. Drastically and irreversibly. Now, it has to be happening in some way — it must at some fundamental level be real. That vision I had where Satan was cast from Heaven must have happened. There is no two ways about it. All that led up to it, the preparations, and the vision itself, have a verisimilitude that rationally, can only lead to the thought that what I saw was what I saw. More on this later.