> From this, this, and this.

Some visions I have had I recall in vivid retrospect, but still do I not truly understand what they signified, what exactly was for me to learn. I once ran through the Dark Forest naked and alone, in a nightmare, not to understand to where I ran, away from something I could not think what it was. I remembered later that it was running from a nightmare to a nightmare through a nightmare. Even when I was rescued from the Forest, that nightmare was lurking behind the safe harbor, and there again came rushes of fear like I’d never known: once, twice, to be assaulted by the unholy, to awaken finally to a calm voice like unto Carl Jung. So much fear. A cold flame of fear that sizzled through my soul.

Then there was this one time when I felt I must prostrate myself, and seemingly to collect everyone within my prostrate form, in a prayer. I felt people/etc. joining me, their spirit form combining into my own form, and I forget what it was the prayer I prayed, but after the “Amen”, I said, “All.” As if to indicate that I felt that all were with that prayer I prayed. I suppose it had something to do with the War, how I acted purely by instinct, not really knowing why I was acting as I was. I wonder what effect it had. If it were of God, I could presume that it did what it was supposed to do. One of the stranger things I did, which still is more or less a mystery to me.

More has gone through my head than might be wise for one to preserve his sanity, and the really scary thing is that it all makes sense to me. Surely a sign of madness, no? I see that the land of forms exists on the other side of zero, which is not nothing. Time cannot be destroyed, only spent. Death is as to be without light, nothing more, nothing less. The halting problem may be solved using an infinite algorithm. Infinity can be packed into the finite. And there is a light above all other lights, higher than the highest heaven. And we call that light God. I AM is His name. But there’s this, too, and it will make sense as soon as we go over a few things: “Walt Disney is God.” Well, not really, but the story does get weird enough for that to be true.

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The Great Blasphemy