The Gospel According to Judas - A Handbook on Life

> From this.

I had once, while I was in that room at that hospital, previously mentioned, a vision of Satan being fought at the cross. That day was quite momentous in ways more than one. I felt the special circumstance that that was, the Holy Spirit strong in the air — it was like once before that were applied to my person, years, decades before, that previous time looking like it were purposed for my understanding when such an event were occurring. It was just before, in that hospital, where I had been told that Judas had volunteered, though the exact wording was different than that, and I don’t remember what it was.

I met Judas for the first time there in that room at the hospital, and he seemed a very capable saint. What I originally was allowed to believe about that statement, “Judas volunteered”, was that it meant a horror beyond horrors. That he was heading into a vial where there would be no God, and that he were going to be without salvation, not even the mercy of a well-formed Hell. Something worse. These misunderstandings I would later see as being quite useful, like the “wrong” notes in jazz. I saw him in a confab with the higher-ups, I presume that Christ was there: this was when he was being told to betray our Lord. He would later have a hard time recalling this, after Satan entered his mind, when the actual betrayal happened.

And while I thought that was what he was heading into Cthulhu type eternal horror, he got ready to enter this vial. I found out later was like unto armor to protect him from Satan during the betrayal. Must have been very intense, the series of events of the betrayal. But before he went, he gave me something to give John the Baptist (which I don’t remember exactly what it was, it had something to do with emeralds), and he told me what sins I was to avoid further in my life. (I have kept to those things.) Then I saw his vial, then snap! He was gone, sealed therein. I felt something like desolation, for a fallen comrade, not understanding what was going on, like a twin in the womb when the other is born and gone out into the world. I was told he was smiling when he entered.