Category: Rough Draft


At times I have to shake myself and say, “Yes, John H. Doe, this is really happening.” Sometimes that’s not enough, and one of the higher ups have to do it. Jesus Christ will interrupt my regularly scheduled reality to break in and say that to me. What is real is real, no matter how much it resembles an hallucination. The skeptic (the scientist, I like to think) still wants to label everything I see as a figment of my imagination. Which I’m sure most of you out there are wont to do. I completely understand. But, o what I have seen! I cannot think that my imagination is so grand to have conjured up just everything in my visions. Perhaps that’s the humility I have prayed for kicking in. One can hope.


There have been extraordinary visions I have had. Once God the Father showed me of what stuff Heaven is made. I cannot, that is I cannot now summon the ability, to tell you how wonderful that place is, being God’s throne, whereas earth is merely His footstool. He also told me what the proper usage of His name is, being Yahweh. Yes, those visions I have had, but mostly I get a desaturated view, cartoonish, of the goings on in HALOSPACE. Outlines like they are drawn, of partial cartoons (enough so that I can tell just what they depict), usually shades of just one color. I joke, color-coded for my convenience. Yellow generally for Christ-like things, blue for more secular/normal things that are of good, and red or black tends to be bad guy stuff. They’re not always that way, but when they aren’t, I’m usually told why. Silently, through the angelic circuitry. They tell me lots of things.

One interesting vision I had was of how the elements gain their characteristics. If we understand that elements behave the way they do when encountering other elements or more of the same element because of the structure of their electron “shell”, we understand that emergence to be a fundamental factor to what qualitatively we experience of any substance at all. The factors that are determined by placement of electrons emerge by their bonding to other elements, or the same, and the resultant molecular arrangements make emergent larger scale behavior and experientials of elements and molecular structures. That is how fine tuned the qualities are of that which we call physical reality: the humming of the electrons sing into being all of creation.


When Satan tempted the Lord with the rule over all the kingdoms in the world, the Lord did not dispute that they were under his power or not. The Devil has been described as prince of this world, according to scripture, in fact. This goes a long way in making sense of just how this world operates, why there seems to be so much injustice, so much stupidity, so much war. “The loveliest trick of the Devil is to persuade you that he does not exist.” [Charles Baudelaire] One might think, if this saying is true, that maybe we could be doing better if we had not such influence. Perhaps we are not as stupid as we seem, in many, many a case. It is just left to question just how much sway the forces of evil has. And maybe in some cases, it is little or none, too.


Perhaps this is the most important thing I ever witnessed. It took all of about 5 or 10 seconds to see: the final victory of Jesus Christ our Lord over Satan. The Lord had such an expression on his face, one of almost disbelief, of a great worry that had just passed into relief. He said something like, “It’s done!” It’s stored somewhere in the record of reality, I suppose that would be one of the reasons I was privy to that vision. And now I relate it to you, so that you may know: not only have we always already won, we won in reality. We won for real. The final victory is ours, praise the Lord Jesus Christ, my savior. As I live and breathe, I will bear witness to that which I saw.


There are two significant questions: “What do you do?” and “Why do you do it?” The correct answers (yes, there are correct answers) are, “I serve God,”and “Because I love life.” And if you don’t believe in God, it then becomes that you serve a nobler purpose, a greater purpose than what you are, what is larger than you. You know what these things are, I need not tell you of them. Think Doctors Without Borders. And if it is not because you love life that you do what you do, what alternative do you suppose would be worthy? That you love death, that you would put your effort not in the anima of the world, but its entropy, its decay, its end? Surely not. And yes, there is beauty, too, but life is the most precious of the beauties, n’est pas?

I was lying there, safe in a hospital, after having gone through some major shifts in reality, when some of the angels (Michael’s angels) related to me what some of the things they went through on the front lines of the War were like. This touches again on how we take so much for granted, for instance, logic and consistency. What if you could not take some very fundamental things as certainties? For instance, if you have 8 things arranged in a rough circle, you can count on there being 8 spaces between them. What if you couldn’t? What if there were only 7? Or 6? What if you were trapped in something and needed to get out of one of those spaces, and the seeming were not reality? Just a tidbit of what had been going on in the War in Heaven. Strangeness dangerous.


I am an annihilationist. This means I do not believe in an eternal Hell, where the wicked are punished infinitely for a finite amount of sin. That never really made sense to me. I believe that when the netherworld is tossed (with its inhabitants) into the Lake of Fire, all of them are burned so that nothing of them remains, as painful as the amount of sin they committed in life would warrant. You don’t want to be a part of eternity? OK, pay your debts and you’re history. No muss, no fuss. And about Satan twisting in agony forever and ever? A different translation is for an age and ages that he burns — a lot, but that would be as expected for the prime evil. But at the end, he would be no more, as well. And I know I may be wrong, but this seems like such a sensible way of God’s justice to be manifest, you know? Thus do I believe.


Alright, let us for a moment take a step back. What if, I will ask myself, it were all just a fantasy? That I had not met Jesus Christ nor his angels, not Albert Einstein, or Joan of Arc, or any evil power? It started while I was on drugs, after all, so what if it actually is “just” a trip? Hm? Well, if one does believe in there being an unseen world (and I can believe this while being rational), because one is still Christian, whatever else, then how big a stretch would it be to say that I am in contact with that unseen world? Because I do have faith like a grain of a mustard seed, and I can say to the mountain, “Move”. And I haven’t taken drugs in over a decade, and it is clearer than ever appearing before me: I see the unseen. And perhaps I can convince you of what visions I have seen.


The Great Blasphemy